Hey little lemons, if I don’t mention the long gap between posts, will you not? I have started new posts two or three times in the last while but my creativity has gone awry and I was scared to poison you with negativity!
I started a post last week about looks, I basically wanted to write about how people DO get treated differently based on how they look and how sad I find this. It somehow went into a long meandering post basically about my body issues and that’s not what I wanted it to be so I will try to summarise, here.
Most of the time I am quite confident, thanks to wise and loving parenting, that looks don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It’s how you live your life that’s important. Now I know this. But sometimes, even when you are 23 years old, it hurts a little bit that you hear multiple other girls you work with being described albeit creepily, by old men as ‘the good-looking one’ that your sister will get ushered to the front of the bar queue and even hit on a little bit while you stand waiting for ages, that you decide to stay in on a Saturday night because you don’t have the figure or hair and make-up skills to look like all those other tanned and gorgeous girls who will be in the bar, so you wouldn’t feel comfortable, when people are constantly telling you how gorgeous your friend is(And you can see it for yourself!). Now whatever way I write this sounds whiney and awful, I know, I’m definitely not saying: ‘Universe, tell me I’m beautiful- or I will go into a strop!’
I am simply saying that people have it hard enough growing up, the cruelty of children, the difficulty to fit in at high/secondary school. My friend said to me recently she remembers as a young/mid-teen not even being able to look into the mirror as she just hated what she saw so much. I remember avoiding the mirror at my Grammar school, I was greasy haired and didn’t have the right knee-high socks, or have them pushed down the right way,I hoped against hope that no one ever asked me had I kissed anyone yet… People arrive at adulthood with a million hang-ups about every inch of their lives, what they look like really shouldn’t be one. Yet everyday in the media and even in work and social life good people are left feeling shitty because some shallow person has overlooked them or made a nasty comment about their appearance. Which they cannot help.
Now maybe if I was perfectly symmetrical (they key to beauty) and slim and gorgeous , I would feel differently. But, there has to be an emptiness in thinking people only like you for how you look, not who you are. I know a lovely girl who does some modelling and I’ve seen her get sleazed over A LOT. She left a bar in near tears one night and on doing a mini-photoshoot for charity she had to endure horrible suggestive comments. She has a long-term boyfriend and no one has the right to touch her or mouth off to her just because she happens to be beautiful.
A friend told me tearfully about a month ago that, had they looked different/better, they are sure it would have worked out with this person. It breaks my heart that adults in the world would think like this.
So, maybe this is just the pathetic cries of an Ugly Duckling, but maybe everyone should ‘use their words’ as the wonderful John Green would tell us to do. We should treat everyone with respect and give everyone a chance. There is a lot more beauty to be found in people’s stories and their hearts than on their faces, or their figures.
You look fine. Now get out there and be the best you can be.