I view the world through thick worry glasses. They’re the wrong prescription and they hurt my eyes and warp my view so that I can’t get my priorities right and everything is just so…worrying. It’s like a web of worry around my brain at all times. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m used to it. I’ve always been like this. When one thing passes my mind immediately latches on to the next thing, I don’t seem to be able to control it. My friends and family constantly comment on it. I think I almost died of worry during my GCSE’s. It’s not THAT debilitating but I would love to be free of it. I reckon that there’s many a beautiful thing in my midst, and I often catch glimpses of things, that I miss out on or are darkened by the phone call that I have to make or the dread of work in the morning. I’ve got worry lines already on my otherwise smooth 22-year-old skin.
Ahem. Big things that I hope that will happen in my future (Future. Shudder. The worry!) that should be things to hope for and be excited about I worry about A LOT. Organising a wedding. Paying for a wedding. Giving birth. Post-natal depression. (I should never have read those books.) Sometimes someone will say “You just have to stop worrying!” when I am in mid-flow about something extra worrying and I will see the world clearly for a second, bright and free from worry, but it usually creeps straight back. I do see that worrying actually makes things a lot worse. I used to have a post-it with a hand-written quote of Mark Twain‘s from a family friend pinned to my wall:
I’ve had many terrible experiences in my life, some of which actually happened.
Wise words. I wonder if I would be me if I didn’t worry. Would you recognise me at all? The other night M said “I’m worried about my car, in that dodgy car park.” Our friend had gotten a text asking her on a date and she was worried about what to say. “I’m just worried.” I said and everyone laughed. Cause it’s just me.
Does anyone have any good, solid advice on not worrying? Or shall I continue to worry for all time, and let’s face it, sometimes to your entertainment?